5:59 p.m. ||2004-06-25 God help me! It's friday nite and I'm sitting on my ass at home with my computer and drinking a beer. I hate my job. Have you ever hated a job so much that the thought of spending another minute there makes you sick? That is my job. I am on call 24/7 and I've already received two calls tonight and I only just left over an hour ago. I don't think doctors get as many calls as I do. I can't tell you how many times this week I thought of walking out at work. I would say I'm going for a smoke and never come back. I would love to do so but with this being my first job after college I am screwed if I don't get the reference. So my resume is updated but there's nothing out there. I mine as well work at McDonalds. Even the thought of that doesn't bother me as much as my own job. Well let's move on to other stuff that is not work related. I have no idea what I am doing this weekend but I must drag my ass out tonight or tomorrow. Also whatever I do must involve drinking since I am an alcoholic due to stress at work. Last weekend I went out dancing with a friend. I hadn't done that in so long. I had fun but I can't stand the girls you encounter at those clubs. It seems like the girls at clubs are either stick thin or really large. I am neither, just average. Also some of these outfits they were are they mine as well be wearing nothing. I mean my barbie covered her tits more than these chicks do. Of course maybe I'm just jelous because I want some implants. Ok now we'll talk about the guys. Do guys who go to clubs just want to get laid? I'm not too sure on that. I did go out with a guy I met at a bar once. We did have sex and it was horrible sex so maybe that's why they go to bars, to pick up women have two minute sex and then never worry about seeing them again. Seriously it seems like the decent guys aren't at the clubs or bars. So where the hell are they? I want to meet a nice guy who's sweet and cute but I think they're all taken, gay or players. The ex and I met through friends. I miss the ex and it's been about 10 months. The ex has moved on and now has a girl friend. I've become ambivilant about it now. Hell, I've gone on dates but they don't go anywhere. For example Officer Friendly who I went out with a few times. Officer Friendly we'll call him OF seemed to be a cool guy. I was attracted to him and vice versa. We went out to dinner a few times, he brought me to his house. He brought out the guns, yes not his below the waist gun but actual guns. He then proceeds to show them all to me. I think I saw about 4 of them. This to me is not normal date activity. I understand he's a cop and into that shit but why the arsenal at his house. By the way I also learned his screen name was Tackleberry. So this guy was too much for me. The next date involved a Jewish lawyer who was friends with all his ex girlfriends. This guy also couldn't stand to be alone and not constantly doing something and he enjoyed working 14 hour days. I let him buy me two drinks and left. The most recent date was maybe the weirdest. This guy seemed so perfect before we met. He was artsy and poetic, I liked the way he thought. Then I meet him and he's very shy and not sure of himself. That turns me off. I like a guy who can joke and be a bit cocky but is not serious about it. I want someone with spunk who can keep me on my toes. This guy was nice but he was definetly only in the "friend zone" and he seemed possibly gay. Of course there is nothing wrong with being gay. My best friend is gay but I don't want a gay boyfriend. Well, I think I've wrote enough for tonight. Time for another beer. |