5:29 p.m. ||September 24, 2004
Anxiety
So I am prepping for my date and I keep feeling this overwhelming amount of insecurity. I can't figure out what to wear or if my ass looks good in anything. Sometimes I swear I have Monica Lewinsky hips. Well, no they're not that bad but I had my hips and ass, I would love to just cut about 2 inches off. Anyway have cleaned the apartment- if that means shoving all clothes into the closet and trying to shut the door. Also changed my bed after 3 weeks of the same old sheets. My mother would cringe if she knew. Of course she would be more pissed if she knew what I plan to do in those sheets later. Can you believe my mother even asked me after my date is I stayed over? Don't know what we're doing tonight- don't know if I care. I feel like such a horny guy. I guess I am making up for lost time. Saturday I am going to visit Missy in Springfield. I want to check out the fair there. Also her birthday is next week and I have no idea what to get her, so hopefully we can pick out a present. It's so funny how we are so close because we are almost opposites. In highschool I wanted to kill her and vice versa. I find it crazy that of all the friends I've had we've kept in touch but my closest friend and I haven't talked in 4 years. I don't know what her problem is. I found her email address on our h.s. alumni page and just send her a quick email. No response- I should not be surprised. I always make these efforts and she doesn't do shit. I always wonder why. We never had an argument or anything. I think it will always remain a mystery. Maybe I will see her at the ten year reunion. I plan on going even though I hated h.s. with a passion, it should make for an interesting evening. well now I just am waiting til he gets here- I hate waiting, it is the one thing I despise, I am so impatient.
rewind || fast foward
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