3:00 p.m. ||December 24, 2004 I will lose weight I know it's a bit soon to make these promises but, having just tried to squeeze into a pair of my pants and could not zip them up, I think it's best I start the resolutions early this year. I am repulsed with my ass and thighs. I feel like all of a sudden I've gained ten pounds. I hate excercising and I hate dieting but I will have to do it. No more chocolate at work. This is hard because my co-worker keeps a candy jar with my favorites- peanut butter cups and butterfingers. No more chips at lunch. I am screwed because I like sweet foods and salty crunchy foods. S came over last night and we were talking about relationships. She told me how horrible her boyfriend is in bed. She says he doesn't like her to touch his penis or go down on him. What guy doesn't like that? Also she says he can't keep it up and she can never orgasm will having sex and in fact she has never had an orgasm. I don't think I did until recently. I can't orgasm from sex- I envy women who can. I have to use a vibrator to do so. I have sort of brought this up with D. I think I will bring it with me tonight and see what happens. We have the best sex I have ever had with anyone but I wish I could feel a release like he does. We'll see what happens tonight. |