10:18 p.m. ||September 04, 2005
This isn't my house- how did I get here?
Oh my gawd, this three day weekend has just been hellish. The only good point is that the computer was finally set up today. I have no goddamn privacy. My mother was just in here bugging me while I was trying to write an entry. I can't even watch tv or a movie by myself without my mother and step-father joining me. This living back home really sucks at the moment. I need to get out of this house. Of course it's too late now but hopefully tomorrow. Missy said something about going hiking. Even if she changes her mind I need to get outta here, go to the mall or take a drive or something. So on a positive note I am drinking and smoking a lot less. I am not having my usual 3-4 drinks a day. I barelly have one a day. I did have a glass of wine with dinner Friday and tonight but that is normal. However I could go for some beer now. Anything to mentally escape this place. I feel like I'm 12 years old again. One day last week, I had 3 beers and my mother flipped out at me. I'm going to Colorado Tuesday night. I talked to my father yesterday and he told me my stepmother is in a bad way. She's trying to quit smoking and drinking. For my sake I hope she is sane when I get there. If she is still trying to quit it will be a living nightmare. No prospect of a new job yet. I have become Miss Chauffer and Miss Errand girl. I will be driving my grandmother to all her doctor's appts. Then my mother has to have surgery on her foot and she will likely be out of commision for about 3 weeks. Not to continue my whinning but I need some really great foreplay, making out, passionate sex. It's been about 5 months. I can barelly even masturbate here, because someone's always home- ughh...
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