11:01 p.m. ||September 13, 2005
Back to Beantown.
I got back early, early this morning from Colorado. I hate flying, it was worse because I couldn't sleep. Have you even been so tired that you couldn't sleep? This happens to me quite a bit. It is really lovely having insomnia. The vacation was better than last time. My step mother is still just as weird- maybe more so. My father seems quite miserable with her and I told him that I just want him to be happy. I then talked about my doubts about his wife and how she treats him like shit. I tell him to keep this between us and of course he tells her. I know this because during one of the tense moments she said how she doesn't appreciate people talking behind her back. So, I decided to tell it to her like it is. I was not bitchy but I said it hurts me when she says my father is unintelligent and boring and I feel she treats him badly. She then started ranting and said that I was not allowed to have an opinion of their marriage. On the flip side. At the beginning of my trip she seemed to be persuading me to move out there. I said how I would love to, but I can't leave my mother right now, especially when she is having minor surgeory soon and my grandmother is very sick and feeble. My step monster then implied that I was weak because I didn't want to leave my mother. All I can think of is that she must be jelous because yes, I admire my mother more than anyone and her children barelly speak with her. I told my father that if I lived with step mommy dearest I would kill her. I would gladly live with my dad but not her. It is a shame though because I like Colorado (the Boulder area where they live very much). It is an amazing art community, the rents are really cheap and everyone is so young and full of life, not to mention very cute guys. I sent an email to my ex yesterday wishing him a happy birthday. I'm not quite sure why I did it. He did respond but I have not emailed him back yet.
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