12:24 p.m. ||September 20, 2005
Diary of an un-workaholic
I had about 4 and a half beers outside yesterday under the warm sun. I just wanted to feel very buzzed and drunk. It worked but then I felt really crappy later and went to bed early. I am so bored right now. This not working is starting to get to me. Of course I can't really apply to anything until the 1st of October, that way I probably wouldn't have to start until November 1st. My mother is having surgery on her foot in mid October so I have to be around to help her around the house and with the dogs. I've thought about signing up for another dating site but I haven't done it yet. I'm afraid I'm going to look really pathetic considering I moved back home and I am currently unemployed. I also feel like I won't find the right person because I'm still somehow waiting for Steve. The happiest time of my life was with him and I was in love. The whole relationship came about when I least expected it. Maybe that will happen again with someone new. I hate that I've now entered the 30+ dating category. I don't want to ever date anyone who's been married or has kids. But if I was dating guys in the early 20s they would seem too immature. My stepbrother is getting married. He settled with this one. His other girlfriend was beautiful, althletic and smart. I hear this one is kind of chubby, dumpy and average looking. She also seems like a bitch. I just can't wait to meet her at the engagement party. My stepbrother and I used to be close when we were young. Once he hit 15 or 16 he became too cool for me and has been a jerk even since. So for their little engagement present. I am going to get them something very very cheap. I am thinking of going to Big Lots and buying a huge ugly vase for them. Yes, I really am an evil person- that's why karma constantly bites me in the ass!
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