11:59 p.m. ||December 17, 2005
Overcoming Effexor
So I've been on this medication called Effexor for almost 9 years. It's an anti-depressant and anti-anxiety. Of course over time I've seem to come immune to it but also addicted. If I miss a day or so I have horrible headaches. I never really thought much about the drug. It supposively helped me with depression etc, or so my doctor said. I think maybe a year ago I started to question as to why the hell I was still taking this stuff. At my highest dose I was taking 300mg a day, I have now cut down to 37.5mg a day which is just amazing to me. I do have horrible headaches quite often though. The main reason I have decided to come off this was actually based on my lack of insurance. I went to renew a perscription and it cost me $500+. So once I finish up the month of January I will be off the stuff for good. My father also takes the med and he always thought it was weird I took such a high dose because his dose is so low. He says he can't take too much of it because it makes him feel numb and like a zombie. Well, I never really noticed that but now since I have cut down I do notice that I tend to feel things with more emotion. For example I will actually look at a sunset now and think it is beautiful and moving when before I could care less. I also seem to take time now to notice the little things that make me smile rather than focusing on what makes me frown. Maybe it's not the lack of the pill at all and I am just growing up. Whatever the case it will be nice to finally feel free of antidepressants. They have ruled my life since I was 16 and to think that it might be mind over matter really gives me piece of mind.
rewind || fast foward
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