3:46 p.m. ||October 27, 2004
I have cramps and hate my job!
I feel so pissy. I'm on the rag so I can use my PMS or post PMS as an excuse. Not to mention my cramps are always so horrible. I feel like someone is stabbing me in the gut and twisting the knife. My job sucks. It is just so boring. I think I would have more fun asking "Do you want fries with that?" I loathe having to be to work at 6 am every damn morning (M-F). Also my pay sucks. S makes the same as me and she's only 21 and has no degree. That burns me. I want to find something else, I haven't been looking lately. Everytime I look it's the same old shit- employers want people with like 5 years experience to frigging answer phone and use a computer but want to pay them only $25,000. It is so ridiculous. I get nothing out of my job. It is so uncreative. All I do all day is data entry and send out reports. How could I ever feel proud of my work. Even when I was in the higher position I didn't feel anymore job satisfaction. Here's the reasons I continue to stay 1. it's mindless work, 2. my commute is 5 minutes, 3. I get out early. I always laugh when I read these chick lit books and the girls always have amazing jobs. Like say 22 years old and is a freelance graphic designer, fashion designer, journalist or does PR work. Gimme a break- is that shit for real? Oh and in these same books you have girl meets boy, girl and boy have sex, girl and boy have minor fight and make up, girl and boy get married and live happily ever after. Yes, I admit I love reading this stuff too. The only thing looking up (no pun intended) in my life now is sex. I'm not saying that what D and I have is just based on sex- because it's not, but it is so incredible. He makes me feel wonderful. I just think of him and us all the time, I think it's the only way I make it through the week. I know it sounds like I'm head over heals about him. I am crazy about him but I'm not in love. I don't think I could feel that or let myself feel that for quite some time.
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