11:36 a.m. ||November 06, 2004
Men=confusion
Ughhh... went to Marshall's for some new jeans. All my jeans are too damn tight. I tried on 2 pair, both size 9 and I still looked like a fat cow. I feel like such a fat ass. Everyone says I look good and I am paranoid but I can't help it. How the hell can I be a size 4, 6, and 8 in some things but these jeans were too frigging tight? I am supposed to see D tonight which is why I am stressing about what to wear. I feel like a kid going to a junior high dance. I want to look sexy but casual. Apparently I am not girl friend status- WTF? He was talking about me and he said "the girl I'm dating". That really sucks. It's been about two months, I would think I would be gf by now. I complained to Missy and she says I worry way too much. My "friend" (she's not really a friend anymore) had her baby. Kristin called to tell me. I suppose I should call her back and try to get to see Sandy and the baby. I know it will depress me. Sandy used to sleep around with all these guys and cheat on her boyfriend. Then she found this great guy and she got pregnant. Now they're living together and he is completely in love with her. Basically the same thing happened with Kristin too. I don't get it. I play by the rules, don't have one night stands and I am very loyal and still I don't have that wonderful guy. I imagine Steve will soon get his girlfriend pregnant and they will live happily ever after. Yes, I am very bitter and pissed. I like D very much, he is not Steve. They're completely different. I don't know I need to get over this. I just wish I had more of an idea of what D thinks of me. Men are so confusing.
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