5:01 p.m. ||November 08, 2004
Disappointed
Feeling very disappointed today. I think things are over with me and D. I did not see him at all this weekend. He went out Friday, got wasted and was apparently too sick to want to see me Saturday. That royally pisses me off. Now I will not see him for two weeks- if ever again. I am just trying to deal with the thought that nothing will ever happen with us. I think it's better if I just put him out of my head now rather than wishing it will work out. My one happy thought is going away at the end of the week. I want to tell work to kiss my ass and never come back. I am a bit aprehensive about seeing my father. I have so much anger for him deep down that I never let out. I just keep on burying how much he has disappointed me over the years. I never tell him this for fear that he is too weak and would just break down and cry and then I would feel guilty. So instead I act passive aggressive around him. I really do love him but I'm sick and tired of always making excuses for him.
rewind || fast foward
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