1:55 p.m. ||January 09, 2005
Sometimes life's a bitch
I think about running away all the time, but you can't escape yourself. Do you ever not know how you feel? Sometimes I don't know who I am and how I got to this stage in my life. I made it til Friday with no beer. However I had a shit kicker of a day Friday which prompted me to buy a 12 pack of Miller Lite. Very bad, I know- but good because it wasn't during the work week. I haven't talked to D since last Sunday. I'm not sure what to think about that. I thought about calling him but didn't want to. Of course he didn't call me either. He doesn't love me I know. I don't love him. I care about him and we have great chemistry and get along but I know I could never rely on him. It won't go anywhere. He's not ready and I have to many doubts where he's concerned. I don't know what to do next. I need to finish up my resume today and send it out to a job I'm hoping to get. Cross my fingers.
rewind || fast foward
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