4:23 p.m. ||April 21, 2005
Single Again
It's over, it's done. I'm okay with it. I have thought a lot and I was going to email him that I didn't think we should see each other anymore and that I wish him the best of luck. Well, the bastard beat me to it. Of course he put that he wasn't in love with me even though he tried to be. And he didn't want me to fall more in love with him only to be hurt when he didn't feel the same. What bunk! He should feel so flattered. I don't think I loved him. I maybe thought it was but it wasn't. We had some great times and even better sex but that doesn't make a relationship. Besides still wasn't over Steve. But I picked the exact opposite of Steve and did the opposite of what I did with Steve- it still didn't get me anywhere. I don't know if there's anyone out there for me- or maybe there was and I lost them. It shouldn't matter I should not worry so much but I hate having to date again. I don't think dating is particualarly fun. There's too much expected when you don't know each other. It's better to know each other awhile as friends before dating. I found my best friend from high school's work address. We haven't talked for 5 years. I still don't know why. I emailed her to say hi- no response and then yesterday I emailed to say happy birthday (it was yesterday) no response. I would think if she didn't want to talk to me at all she could say, hi thanks for the message but I'm really busy right now- take care. Instead she is ignoring me. I couldn't imagine I would be so rude to someone. It's not like I'm a stalker. Hell I don't even know what state she lives in. It's funny because I always knew it would come to this. We were very close but she had other close friends. Those friends betrayed me and she never forgave them. I never did anything to her but it's like she's not forgiving me for something. If anything I should be pissed at her. She's the one who took my place in college when I left and became friends with the friends I made there. I'm going off on a tangent now. God, I am sooo bitter!
rewind || fast foward
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