2:12 p.m. ||October 03, 2005
The Engagement Party
The whole shebang wasn't as bad as I thought. My step-bro's lady was not a cow. In fact she was pretty and not chubby at all so I don't know what step-monster and my dad were getting at. As usual I felt like a leper in front of my ste- family. I used to have to go to their parties when I was 10 or 12 but because it was such torture I stopped going. So when my father said this is my daughter to them, they were all like "Oh I remember when you were this tall"(hand lifts four feet off the ground) or "wow you're so grown up are you done with school?" In my head I am gritting my teeth and thinking duh I'm 2 years from turning 30 dumbass. I swear when people don't see you for a long time they seem to think you will look the same. As if only they get older but the rest of the world doesn't. After introductions, I decided to drown myself in a couple mimosa's. I then asked my father for money so I could buy a rum and coke and he pulls me aside saying he doesn't want me to overdue it. Geez, if he only saw how much wifey was drinking. Oh, and the absolute worse is when people ask where you live and what you do for a living. I can't tell you how many times I had to say I'm between jobs when I just want to shout- yeah I'm unemployed so shove it. My I sound so goddamn bitter. I'm really not. I think my sarcasm only seems to come out when I'm writing my entries. I swear I am not this evil-sounding. Anywho I did have a good conversation with step-bro (after 5 years). Also his lucious high school friend was there. His friend we'll call B, I guess had a thing for me when I was around 16 or 17 and wanted to ask me out but stepbro didn't want me in his inner circle and he forbade him to date me. What a schmuck ehh? So this guy was there looking hotter than ever. I talked with him a bit but not much. I couldn't really get the courage to flirt with him while I was within this family function. However my step mother kept mentioning him and how he is available since he has recently got divorced. I did tell her how handsome and cute he was. I was hoping she would later tell him since she was drunk. Also before I left I gave stepbro my cell phone number while B was beside him. I am hoping he would get a clue and maybe call me. So far no calls though. Just as well I suppose. How would I handle 2 men? But I swear just looking at this guy for too long would give me an orgasm who cares about a relationship I just want him in the worst way. Oh yeah, tomorrow is date #2. I do really like and respect this guy but he doesn't make my knees weak (yet).
rewind || fast foward
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