3:21 p.m. ||December 11, 2005
Merry Fucking Christmas
My dog has cancer. My grandmother has to undergo surgery she might not survive. I am still alone, in severe debt and will probably never have the hopes of finding a man, getting married and having a child. Yes, it is the most wonderful time of the year. I could really deal if I didn't feel so much worry for my grandmother and my dog. The poor dog is having chemo treatments right now. Somedays she's like her old self and some days she shivers, doesn't eat and tends not to move. It breaks my heart. Today we're getting the tree. I could care less right now about decorating. It would be nice if Christmas just skipped by me this year. The last two Saturdays I've actually socialized. Last weekend I went shopping with Kristin and some of her friends. After we got chinese food and did a Sex and the City marathon. Last night I went out to Boston with Kristin and 3 other girls. I was the only single one. They are all otherwise married or engaged and three of them have kids. Oh and I'm the oldest one too. Yeah so I drank way too much. We all shared about 3 huge scorpion bowls. I also had 1 cosmo, 1 blue hawaiian and almost 2 beers. It's amazing I did not get sick, but I had killer hiccups. I could not go out like I used to. The scene is still the same or worse. Now that the my age has gotten higher the dating pool has gotten lower. The late 20s-30s guys are just not that cool. This is why you can never meet anyone at a bar. I am just pretty much done meeting men in general. There will be no more online shit for me. I don't think I will ever find love again or have that same true love feeling I once had. Can you ever get over your one true love?
rewind || fast foward
|