10:00 a.m. ||December 27, 2005
I lost my best friend on Christmas
My dog died- on Christmas. I have never felt this upset and I keep crying and crying. I don't know how to make this pain go away. She was only 6 years old and I loved her so much. I don't know what happened. The last week she seemed fine and almost back to her old self. We were thinking she might have been in remission. On Christmas Eve she was very perky and we were playing. Christmas morning and afternoon she was quiet but still alert. She was not the worst I've seen her. We thought she was fine. There was even talk of bringing her to my grandmother's where we were eating dinner but I was worried and would be afraid she would get into something lying around her house. So I said not to bring her and now I feel like if we did we could have saved her. My mother and stepfather got back from my grandmother's at 5:30 and she has just died. She wasn't breathing and they couldn't feel her heart. I didn't get home from my father's family until 7. I knew something was wrong when I got in the driveway and saw my mother hadn't turned on the tree- she always does. Then she poked her head out the door and told me to come in and I just knew. I said no she didn't die did she, and mom said she did. I was hysterical. They had her in a box with her blanket. I said goodbye the best I could and my stepdad buried her next to Chewie who died a year and a half earlier. This just doesn't seem real to me, I am still in shock. She seemed so much better I just can't believe it. It's not fair, she was the sweetest, most playful dog I ever met. Everyone loved her and she loved everyone. Christmas is dead to me, it died with my dog. I don't understand how she could be taken away from me and my family. I have no spirit left.
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