1:59 p.m. ||January 06, 2006
Empty
I feel so empty and drained. I have finally stopped crying over my dog. I know she's not coming back but I don't know if I accept that yet. My mother is worse than me. She went to the doctor today to see if they could prescribe her an anti depressant. Meanwhile I am still going off my medicine. I only have about 6 more pills left and I am done. We'll see what happens. Right now I have the flu. It started with an earache. I got antibiotics for that but now I have the worst cold. I've had like 2 days of a sore throat and then congestion. I am not starting to cough. I haven't been smoking much- hardly at all because I know it will make it worse, but goddamnit I want to smoke- it's my only vice right now. I haven't been drinking at all, except an occasional glass of wine with dinner. I am jobless again. I left the temp job. I just couldn't deal with going back after my dog died. I didn't want to have to answer questions about my Christmas and I was afraid I'd break down and start crying. I haven't started looking for another job yet because I feel so sick. I also haven't heard about the job interview I went on. I suppose I will call about that one Monday. However I doubt I got it. I seem to be just about the unluckiest person alive right now.
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