2:31 p.m. ||February 17, 2006
Rambling Thoughts
I finally have an interview with a company I'm hoping to get in with next week. The interview is intense and with 3 people and will probably last 2 hours. The application I need to fill out practically wants my first born child. They also are going to do a background check on me. I hope that doesn't include medical records. I don't want these people to know that 10 years ago I was in the hospital for depression. I figure that is none of their business. I was hoping to go out with Missy tonight. She said she was grabbing a brew with friends from work and I was welcome to come. So I said I wanted to go and then she says she can't go because she has karate. I mean come on blow off the fucking karate- it's Friday. I emailed the old ex, I guess I will call him MD. Anyway he said he was just thinking about calling me but hadn't had the chance. I actually do believe that. So I asked him when he wants to hang out again. Of course I should not be going out at all because I have no money but I really do need to maintain some kind of a social life. So I asked him if he wanted to get together on Sunday. If I had known Missy would bail on me I would have suggested tonight. I've been thinking long and hard about what I want, if it's a relationship or not and I just don't know. Sometimes I think I hide behind my love for Steve because I don't want to risk getting hurt again. I mean even though I had two other relationships since him, he's the one I never forget. At first Steve used to remind me of MD. But MD is not the same person I dated when I was 16.
rewind || fast foward
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