5:20 p.m. ||July 15, 2004 I took tomorrow off. I plan on going to the doctors and perhaps checking myself into the hospital. I feel like I have become so dependent on drinking that I need to just get it all out of my system. I am so depressed too. I imagine myself sinking lower and lower into the ground. I don't know how to get out of this. I hate my job, my life is boring and I feel like things will never change. I wonder if they'll fire me if I go in the hospital. I almost don't care. I just don't want everyone to think I'm a looney bin, well I don't really care about that either. I have been doing too much for the job and nothing for myself. This is my life and I need to fix it or else I will fall to pieces. |