4:29 p.m. ||October 15, 2004
Pretty Pissy
I'm negative and pissed off today, I think it might be the rain- nope it's just me. I think deep down I like being negative, maybe because I'm too afraid to be happy so I must bitch and complain about something. It's Friday night and what am I doing- basically nothing. I'm meeting S for chinese food and scorpion bowls and then we might play pool. I really wanted to see D this weekend but that won't happen- at least not until Sunday. I told him I had plans Friday and the original plan was that I would stay over Sat night and we had the wedding on Sunday. Now he is having the guys over for sports watching and playing poker on Sat. And he bitched about how he has a cold. Yeah he got it from me, I warned him. He also said he hates how we live so far away- well so do I, get over it. I know I'm blowing a fuse over nothing and I shouldn't care that he's seeing his friends Sat. I really don't care, my point was I told him I had plans Friday and he thought it was a good night to get together. Well, I am not the girl who breaks plans anymore for men. Forget that. I still like him, I don't love him. It's funny because at this point with Steve I was falling in love. They are so different, it's like I picked the complete opposite. I tend to do that subconciously (bad spelling I know). Kritin invited me to a pampered chef party. What the hell is that? I know what it is but what the fuck- am I now 40 years old. Why not just call me to get together and have dinner? Why is it when ever I see her it involves domestic- like things? This is not the girl who used to wear tube tops to bars and make out with guys she just started dancing with. Not that that was such a great idea but how do you do a 180 like that in a year? no more writing in too foul a mood...
rewind || fast foward
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