4:55 p.m. ||March 31, 2005
Sick of Games
Of course my b-f (if you can call him that) did not call me at all last weekend, even in light of the whole conversation we had the week prior. I am getting so sick of the bullshit. I have been so patient waiting and waiting and I am getting so fed up now. I emailed him that I thought he would have called and that I don't want to be the girl he sees once in awhile and has sex with. I think I deserve more than that and I want to know where I stand. I told him if that's all he wants then I have to let him go. He responds by telling me that he's sorry he hasn't called and he knows he should. He says he repsects me but isn't good about talking about his feelings (bullshit). He says he's been thinking about me, asking people advice and writing to me. I ask him what he's writing and that I don't understand. I tell him if he's writing a "dear Jane (john)" letter to me he need not bother because I would rather know now. He then writes back and says forget the letter. I will come see you next week and we will talk. He finally says that he finally understands things. Of course I have no idea what that means. I stew over this for awhile and finally respond saying that if things are over- tell me now. I don't want to have another week drag by and I don't know where I stand. I sent that email to him around 7 am and he still hasn't responded back. Maybe he thinks I am being pushy. Well I don't care. I have been waiting for him forever and I'm ready to break. I just want to know and get on with my life. I don't know why the fuck he is dragging this out. It is infuriating!
rewind || fast foward
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