4:38 p.m. ||April 01, 2005
A lovely depressing entry
I wish there were terribly exciting things going on in my life. Maybe if I was dating and screwing a new guy each night this might be a fun read. But no, I'm a boring girl with not much going on. Whenever I'm depressed (obviously like right now) I never do anything, I am a slug. The truth is I don't know what to do with myself. I have no initiative other than to run far away from here and start a new life. Of course that just makes me sound like I'm 16 again. But at least when I was that age I felt like I had something to hope for. What is my hope now- spinsterhood? I am much to scared now of dating or even another relationship. It's probably safe to say my romance with Darren is over. He has not responded to my email. I think men just suck. Why is it that none of them are ready to settle down? Not necessarily marriage but at least living together or something on that idea. My best friend (the lesbian) has been dating this girl since New Year's and they've already said the L- word and they see each other every weekend and about 1-2 nights a week. What the fuck is that? No, I wouldn't want to see someone that one that much too soon but geez- it just proves that women are different than men. I am so angry, mad and sad. I don't know how to just put these emotions behind me and move on.
rewind || fast foward
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