4:43 p.m. ||May 03, 2005
And the magic wand says no
I am not pregnant. I was kind of really thinking I was and getting myself all worked up. Even though it's probably better for me not to be pregnant a part of me is let down. I do want to have a child(children) and I often think it's getting to late and my biological clock is ticking. I don't want to be one of those women who has kids at 35. I mean by the time they're 20, I'd be 55. I'm 3 years from 30 and my mother isn't 55 yet. I have had no communication with the ex. I don't really care. I realize how immature he was and that I don't think he'll ever grow up. I think I'm finally getting over Steve too. I know there will never be some magical fairy tale ending and we'll go riding into the sunset together. I don't have the desire to date. It is too exhausting. Because whenever I get into someone I never see their faults or I try to give them a second chance. I get so caught up in whether they like me that I don't concentrate on if I really like them or I'm just with them to be with someone. So there you have it I am taking a long break without any romantic relationships. It's time that I start focusing on what I like and my interests. Oh and I also need to concetrate on getting another job.
rewind || fast foward
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