4:16 p.m. ||May 18, 2005
The realm of nothingness
There is nothing to tell. I am an empty shell. It's raining and has started to thunder. I love a good thunderstorm. I wish it was dark out, so I could have my blinds open and see the lightning come pouring in. I was afraid of storm when I was younger. Once I forced myself to watch them, I fell in love with the excitment of a storm. I am hosting a candle party on Saturday. Normally I would never do such a thing. I am doing this for a friend who is trying to be a consultant for the company. However she needs to book 6 of these gigs before she can become on. So I offered. I am having a hell of a time recruiting people and I can't really blame them. Some people have plans and others have to work. Somehow I know it will just be me and 5 other people. Oh well, it will be less people to feed appetizers and wine to. Last weekend I went to this girl's candle party. She is the wife of my ex-boyfriend Steve's good friend. They are really nice people. Of course Steve is never mentioned around them. I confided in Kristin (who is part of that whole group, as I met him through her) that I feel like I will never find someone to fall in love with and vise versa again. She tells me when I meet that person I will know. I think that is the most bullshit line I have ever heard. Why? Because sometimes you feel as if you know and you are so wrong. She also forgets that she was completly in love with this guy and she "knew he was the one". He turned out to be gay. There was another guy in the picture at this time and I told her that he obviously liked her and she should date him. She wasn't interested. Now he is the father of her child and she always "knew he was the one". So yeah, nobody knows and I don't believe it.
rewind || fast foward
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