8:55 p.m. ||November 19, 2005
It's over- again
I guess it is officially over and I still don't know why. I sent him an email saying that I thought I overracted and I was sorry. My email was positive and not accusing him of anything. He wrote back saying he would call me on the weekend and we would talk. He did not sign the email love like he usually does. Last night was horrendous I couldn't sleep and was in tears all night. I couldn't deal with his call today. I sent him another email saying that I care about him and want him in my life but if he doesn't want to be with me then I can't talk to him. Basically the email let him off the hook because I can't have him tell me he's ending it, I don't want to cry and feel even more vulnerable. How the fuck could he do this to me, when I don't even know what happened? I guess he never loved me, if that is the case then he never should have said he did. Now here I am with my heart broken again. I'm sick of this, I'm obviously never going to find anyone to love, marry and have kids with. I'm going to die alone.
rewind || fast foward
|